the Sexual History Questionnaire (SHQ)

Understanding the Sexual History Questionnaire (SHQ)

The Sexual History Questionnaire (SHQ) is a structured, collaborative process used in sex therapy to help us develop a full and compassionate understanding of your intimate and relational life. The framework we use is based on the relational and dialogic approach described in Sex Therapy with Erotically Marginalized Clients. The SHQ is not a test. Instead, it serves as a guided conversation that helps us understand how your past and present experiences shape your desires, comfort, challenges, and goals today—so that we can tailor therapy in a truly meaningful way.

How the SHQ Works: Individual Sessions

We typically complete the SHQ through individual one-hour sessions with each person in the relationship. Many couples or relationship constellations complete the process in four to six sessions, depending on comfort and pacing. Meeting individually gives each person uninterrupted space to reflect, without pressure or comparison, and helps ensure that your therapist understands each partner’s story in depth.

Consent, Choice, and Emotional Safety

We emphasize enthusiastic consent at every step. You guide the pace, you decide what to answer, and you always have the option to skip questions or pause. Many clients have never been invited to talk about intimacy in a slow, non-judgmental way. We take great care to ensure that you feel informed, supported, and in control throughout the entire process.

Areas We Explore

While the SHQ is comprehensive, we focus only on topics that feel relevant and supportive for you. Themes may include:

• Desired outcomes for therapy

• Cultural, religious, and family influences

• Desire, pleasure, and arousal

• Body image

• Gender identity & sexual orientation

• Fantasies

• Values

• Relationship history & patterns

• Shame, pain, or difficulty

• Medical factors

• Current relationship

Why Many Clients Find the SHQ Transformative

Clients consistently share that the SHQ process feels unexpectedly grounding and clarifying. The simple act of slowing down, naming experiences, and being met with curiosity and respect often leads to early shifts in confidence, connection, and self-understanding—even before any formal interventions begin.

By the end of the SHQ, you’ll have a clearer, more empowered sense of your sexual and relational story, and we’ll have a strong foundation for creating collaborative, strengths-based treatment recommendations tailored uniquely to you.

If you’d like to know more about the SHQ or how it fits into sex therapy at our practice, we’re always happy to talk through what to expect.